1. “The Tribal Casino Deal” 🎰💰
Setting:
Trump and Captain Rodriguez visit a Native American casino. Trump is obsessed with making a “deal.”
Trump: “Rodriguez, look at this place—beautiful, huge, the BEST slots! I could’ve built this, but bigger. Gold-plated. Tremendous!”
Captain Rodriguez: “Sir, this isn’t one of your hotels. It’s sovereign tribal land.”
Trump: “Exactly! That’s why I’m here. I’m gonna make them an offer—Trump Casino, right next door. We’ll call it ‘The Bigly Buffalo.’”
Captain Rodriguez: “I don’t think they want competition, sir.”
Trump: “Competition? No, no—partnership! I’ll give them 10% off at my golf course. They’ll love it!”
(A tribal council member approaches.)
Council Member: “Mr. Trump, we’ve managed this land for centuries. We don’t need a ‘Bigly Buffalo.’”
Trump: “Centuries? That’s cute. I’ve been in business for decades—same thing!”
Captain Rodriguez: “Sir, that’s not how time works.”
Trump: “Sure it is! And let me tell you, your bingo night? Weak. I’d have celebrity hosts—Kanye, maybe a bald eagle.” 🦅
Council Member: “Our eagle feathers are sacred, not a PR stunt.”
Trump: “Sacred, shmacred. You ever see my inauguration crowd? Biggest ever. Birds love me!”
(Captain Rodriguez facepalms as Trump tries to negotiate using a coupon for a free Trump steak.)
2. “The Code Talkers Mix-Up“ 📞🤦♂️
Setting: Trump is briefed on the Navajo Code Talkers’ WWII contributions.
Captain Rodriguez: “Sir, these heroes used their native language as an unbreakable code. Saved thousands.”
Trump: “Unbreakable? Like my Twitter password!”
Captain Rodriguez: “No, sir. The enemy couldn’t decipher it.”
Trump: “Smart! We should bring it back. ‘Covfefe’ was genius—nobody cracked that either!”
(A Code Talker veteran steps forward.)
Veteran: “We served with honor. Our words were weapons.”
Trump: “Fantastic! You ever think of doing audiobooks? I’ve got a bestseller—Art of the Deal—we could translate!”
Captain Rodriguez: “Sir, their language isn’t for profit.”
Trump: “Everything’s for profit, Rodriguez! Imagine: ‘Navajo Night at Mar-a-Lago.’ Buffet, slots, a little cultural appreciation—big ratings!”
Veteran: “…I think I’d rather face the enemy again.”
Trump: “See? Tough guys! Just like my draft deferments—strategic genius!”
(Captain Rodriguez quietly prays for the conversation to end.)
Why These Work:
✅ No harmful stereotypes—jokes target Trump’s persona, not Native culture.
✅ Army officer = straight man, keeping things balanced.
✅ Silly, not offensive—focuses on Trump’s ego, not sacred traditions.
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